Heaven

I've decided (after a combination of much reflection, prayer, pleading, and reading) that we are given big losses to:

1. Test our mettle and see if we break
2. Open our hearts wider for compassion and understanding
3. Force you to really appreciate every moment

The correct answer is all of the above. There is not a day that goes by where my babies don't pop up in some fashion in my brain or heart. I realize that few people realize this, and I am forever trying to cultivate compassion (or at least harness the rage or disappointment that leaps up at times) for those close to me, who just don't get it, as well as to cultivate acceptance.

Mother's Day is particularly acute, for all the obvious reasons. Children with dead mothers, and mothers with dead children. We all have some suffering on this day. Having said that, I don't regret those short pregnancies one bit. In fact, I treasure those brief months when I got to be connected by that cord to living breathing people, tiny and not fully formed, but humans nonetheless.

So for all those childless mothers, and those motherless children, I salute you on this day. Cry, laugh. We are alive, and they are up there, having a party.

Sisters

Relationships with our sisters are one of the most essential, complex, satisfying, and difficult...depending on the moment in our lives or time of the month. My baby sister and I don't get to spend enough time together, and that has been the case for years...ever since I left home.

She's grown into a remarkable woman, who I admire more than I can express to her (without sounding totally over the top). She's brave, smart, beautiful, strong (as in triathalon fuerte), and has a heart with more love and patience that Mother Theresa. Because while Mother Theresa was a saintly woman in Calcutta helping the poor, she didn't raise two boys and watch over my parents, while teaching math to first generation college students. I think my sister rocks.

So I learned today she loves tres leches (oh the things I don't know about her!), as we chowed down at El Charro's downtown. I'm going to make her a rocking one when they visit this summer. Here is to my sweet baby sis.

Dance

So the combination of Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign and dancing (plus adorable kids) is pretty irrestible. Beyonce did this video to support the First Lady's effort, and I would love to try some of these moves in a zumba class (minus those heels, ouch!).

Fun!

Home

I'm back in the desert, soaking up all the love and sunshine I can...spring in the desert is one of the most beautiful things to behold, flowering yellow palo verde trees, octotillos topped off with red flame flowers, lots of birds singing their heads off.

Content.