Reflection

I definitely think that not having Internet at home and no TV is giving me more time for reflection (and gardening, doing laundry...). I do miss the convenience of constant connectivity at times, but the quiet provided is really, really nice. It slows things down. I like that a lot.

One residual benefit of the past few months is more prayer and contemplation. I never thought I would write these words, but hey, my life is FULL of things I never thought I would do (or have happen to me). The home altar is really that...a place for daily quiet, prayer and contemplation of God in the world. For months I have kept fresh flowers there, plus the daily burning of incense and candles. It continues, and I really love it. I realize that God/the Divine is really a sensory experience...it is scent, sight, taste, touch.....Each part of the space provides a reminder that S/he is with us.

The altar was really inspired by my visits to my abuelita's house, and watching her pray in her guestroom, where a tall dresser was set up as an altar with candles burning at all times, some photographs and rosaries. I remember watching her from a crack in the door, the room dark except for the candles, and her standing there, praying softly. I have recreated much of that very altar - the tall dresser, the candles, photos, rosary. I wonder what she prayed for? I can imagine some of those prayers, but at their deepest, prayer is the most private thing (and then I realize it can also be very public). A conversation in silence between you and God. When I bought the house and put the altar in that nook I wasn't really praying, but I was attracted to the idea of a sacred place in your home and memory of that altar. Now it is more than just a decorative feature.

Mary Taponga(amazing mosaic artist) is now creating a special cross for it, which will incorporate two religious medals that I wore when I was pregnant as protection and cannot bring myself to ever wear again. I was struggling with what to do with them (throwing them out was not an option)...and then I thought that they could be put into a cross (very fitting) for the altar and contemplation. It makes it even more special that Mary is creating this work of art, one more small tribute to a baby not born...but very much remembered.