I don't know about you, but holidays bring up all kinds of stuff. Memories both happy and not. Thoughts about loved ones who have passed. Soon to be ex-husbands. Maybe there are some uber-well-adjusted people who just breeze through Christmas/Solistice/Hannukah without a backward glance, and bless those amnesiacs. I'm looking backwards fair amount this year.
I was expecting to be very pregnant this December, and I'm not. My almost ex has moved back to Mexico. While we are on friendly terms, we are getting a divorce.
One of my favorite ways to look backward (or wallow) is through music. I loaded up my playlist with a bunch of songs that take me back....the mariachi, Mexican and Caribbean music are one of the legacies my grandparents passed to me. Gracias y may they rest in Paz. The babies never born have their songs - "I grieve," "Never die young," and "You can close your eyes." My ex's song is "Camisa Negra," a song that was big in Chiapas (and everywhere else in the Spanish-speaking world) when we got married there. I can imagine them all in heaven having a merry time together, except my ex, who is still alive and doesn't believe in heaven.
So check out the playlist.
Think about the loved ones who aren't with you this holiday season. Hold them close.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thanks for sharing. This Christmas is definitely looking very different than I had envisioned - even a few weeks ago. You know the saying, if you want to make God Laugh, just make plans. Not that I think he's really laughing this time; maybe just shaking his head with a knowing smile as he looks into our future with the peace only omniscience can bring... I would love to hear these songs. Can you go to www.playlist.com and find the songs you're talking about and add them to this post? I figure you've got some time on your hands...
ReplyDeleteOkay, I had my speakers off and didn't notice you already posted the playlist! Nix that request.
ReplyDeleteHave a happy Christmas, sister.
Love you Forever.
~A