Vespers etc.

Yesterday Federico and I went to vespers, which is this oasis of quiet in the middle of a typical hectic workday. One thing that was tough and unexpected was that parents with infants ready for Easter baptism were there, as they had a class afterwards. One couple are church friends from the English-speaking Mass, and I hadn't even known they had a baby. Shows you how I stayed away after the miscarriage, and then my surgery....months go by. A baby is born.

Anyway, watching these babies and parents was painful. I kept thinking that our baby would be about their age. It took my not insignificant strength to withhold tears, smile, and warmly greet my friends and their daughter. It helped that the songs and scripture gave me some consolation. Sometimes I surprise myself with my ability to go beyond my own feelings or pain. I don't have any clue exactly how, but I do it. There are lots of people who do this. Armies of people. Quietly and without notice. Either that or you run around screaming or crying, I suppose. There are armies of those too.

We sat and ate soup together, chatting and enjoying the meal. I liked watching how happy Jorge was with his little baby, one of those happy creatures who smiles at everyone in this bright alert way.

Later on Kelli helped me with my new knitting project, teaching me a new way to cast on. I got the hang of it, finally. She learned the stitch on a train in Ireland. Federico was playing loteria with some folks and having a good time at the next table.