Sing your heart out

This is one of the most inspiring movies you'll see....

As it is in heaven

Wicked wicked this way comes

I love plants and gardens, so spending the day at the Tucson Botanical Garden is the logical place for me. They have a cool exhibit of wicked plants, inspired by a book of the same title. So cool to see these plants live and in person, with informative descriptions about their wickedness.

3 books

If you had to pick 3 books that would open a visitor to your culture, your country..what would they be?

The BBC created just such a site where writers can provide their own picks to us all. Israel, Norway, Australia...jump in.

America la bella, la nuestra

Si el sol que nace y el día que muere
Con los mejores atardeceres
Soy el desarrollo en carne viva
Un discurso político sin saliva
Las caras más bonitas que he conocido
Soy la fotografía de un desaparecido
La sangre dentro de tus venas
Soy un pedazo de tierra que vale la pena
Una canasta con frijoles, soy Maradona contra Inglaterra
Anotándote dos goles
Soy lo que sostiene mi bandera
La espina dorsal del planeta, es mi cordillera

Soy lo que me enseñó mi padre
El que no quiere a su patría, no quiere a su madre
Soy américa Latina, un pueblo sin piernas, pero que camina
Oye!

Chai sugar scrub

I made a test batch of a yummy sugar scrub just in time for the holidays. Chai brown sugar scrub. It makes your hands silky soft, and they smell delicious...like chai tea or cinnamon cookies. I gifted it to my fabulous zumba teacher and might make another bigger batch soon. Requests anyone?

Dragontree spa was selling it for $18, but if you buy all the ingredients it probably costs you $1 to make it. Fennel, star anise, cinnamon, almond oil, etc. etc. Spice grinder, some brown sugar, and voila.

Luna

We are watching the perfection of a full moon lunar eclipse in the desert sky. Wow. It will happen again in 342 years....Fun to share this with my parents. In 342 years what will the earth be like?

We humans have nothing on Mother Nature.

Ode to Latinoamerica

Calle 13 is my new favorite band. They are witty, political, sometimes raunchy, often funny, and the music rocks the house down (up and side ways too).

I've traveled from Juarez to Chile and almost every country in between (me falta Colombia y las Guyanas solamente)...so I love a band that tips their hat to the richness, unity and diversity in one song. Reggaeton, cumbia, cancion de protesta...they cover a lot of ground. This song's expansive beauty...the sounds and the words...gives me chills, just like the beloved tierra donde vivimos. I had the honor of visiting Susana Baca at her home in Lima...she's one of the voices that gives me chills in the chorus.

I've got to see their documentary about their travels through the Americas....

Puerta to the heart of America

Came upon this rich radio program that shows that NPR can be cooler, browner, and younger than I realized. Who knew? Clearly not me.

Some of the musicians I knew about and loved, some are new to me. All display the dazzling crazy diversity of America (i.e. the bigger version that starts with Chile and ends hmmm...in Arizona?) Music, for me, is the audible heart of a pueblo. Fado, cumbia, blues. It reflects who we are, and it is universal.

If you want to listen to music you'll never hear on the radio, practice your Spanish or just get down, click on this!

Favorite song

What is not to love? Joyful lyrics, melodic perfection, a perfect coming together of Europe and Africa, and dancing that brims with happiness.

fyi - I am also totally crushed out on Patrick de Bana, the guy dancer. Those eyes, that smile, those pecs.

That time of the year

I'm one of those folks who love Christmas.  The music, the lights, the trees, the nativity scenes, Posadas, the food, Santa, the scriptures....it just makes me hum with this happy expectant vibe.
I have a stash of Christmas music that I'm already playing to put me in the mood.

I'm planning our Christmas activities and outings already ( tree chopping, light viewing and gift making), gathering some new cookie recipes, and just getting tickled it is that time of the year.

I'm going to try to make advent more a focus that we usually do, and here is a web site that will help.  

What I'm reading

I just finished this remarkable book about a book that weaves in themes that are painfully relevant.  Book burning, religious intolerance, torture.  People of the Book is one heck of read, and coming after walking through buildings and plazas where the Inquisition took place....very tangible. 

Best fado

Tucked away on a winding lane in the Alfama, the oldest part of Lisbon is a tiny restaurant with the best meal and fado we enjoyed in Portugal...Mesa de Frades.  Pedro Castro is the Portuguese guitar player, charismatic host and has a side bit in the film Fados. 

It is a converted chapel with azulejos on the walls and some fonts for holy water at the entrance.  The meal is a multi-course treat....with abundant wine.  The music is magical and goes on all night and into the wee hours.  We stayed until 2...they were just starting to peter out, just. 

I do care a fig!

We are getting ready to take out a very sad dogwood tree in the front yard and replace it with a fig tree.  I learned that I love figs and want to be able to harvest them, rather than pay an arm and leg at the New Seasons. 

So now I'm on a mission to learn all about fig trees, so that I pick the right variety and treat it right (the poor dogwood was at the mercy of a clueless first time tree owner).  After taking a single pruning workshop I went at it with a saw, and I don't think it ever fully recovered from that butchering.  I promise never to do that again.  I will leave the tree pruning to the experts. 

Here is a link to a fig monograph (fancy word for a book, ok).  Desert king is recommended from an initial Google search.  Stay tuned for more fig wisdom. 

Movie recommendations

I love movies. The older I get the more picky I get, which means that the recommendations I make on this blog should be taken very seriously. I am getting older every day (so, might I add, are you).  These are gems worth seeking out. You will have to hunt them down like the treasures they are.

So my 2 favorites right now are Fados by Carlos Saura and La leyenda de la nahuala, an animated scary one for kids rooted in Mexican legends and culture (but full of adult funny lines that you are only going to appreciate if you are a Spanish speaker, sorry). Gladys ADORED this movie, and we have watched it 3 times in 2 days at our house. Score.

Since I've been immersing myself in Portuguese culture these past few months, Fados is the ultimate. It's full of this dizzying mix of singers (some who aren't Portuguese, hello Lila Downs!) singing fados of all flavors, with beautiful choreography thrown in. Lila and Mariza sing my 2 favorite songs on there, but the whole movie is full of beautiful voices and songs. I watched it before I went, and then when I came back.

Verbal snapshots

Portugal is Roman, Moor, Jew, topped off with a heavy, at times oppressive, blanket of Catholic. It is olives, wine, blue sky, and the sea.

Listening to Fado music in Evora was unexpectedly wonderful. A tiny club with 6 singers. There were moments when the audience was humming along as back-up for the singer. Lovely.

Porto was the kindness of strangers, when we arrived at 9 p.m. without a proverbial room at the inn. More music. This time fado was in a shiny fancy cafe Guarany, and then a fabulous Latin band (Corazon Espinado, La Ladrona, I will survive merengue style) on the street. A lot of port.

Sagres was a perfect cove of a beach, reading A God strolling in the cool of the evening (by Mario de Carvalho), the very edge of Europe before you drop into the deep blue sea (of which we had a divine view from our pristine room).

Where I am going

At the root

I've been reading and watching some powerful stuff these days.  The Shock Doctrine is a remarkable book that gets at the very root of our current economic and political situation.  It's not a beach read, and there are parts that are so heartbreaking and infuriating that I had to take breaks to recoup.  I think it's essential reading for anyone who wants to know where your tax dollars have been and are going.  Disturbing, provocative, brilliant and finally (at the very end) hopeful.  I recall first hearing about her during an interview on KBOO and happily came upon her audio book at the library. 

Because I'm fascinated by the author's mind, I checked out The Take, a documentary made by Naomi Klein and her husband.  This film recounts the economic crisis in Argentina and how workers have taken over closed down factories...I loved it for many reasons.  It's so important that someone is documenting the hopeful and powerful stories of resistance out there, and I loved seeing these working class men fight and win.  I also enjoyed getting to see Naomi Klein and her husband, who come across as funny, young, smart and relentless.  

A state of grace

We had the most wonderful weekend at Breitenbush, something we are making a summer tradition.  After a very social summer of cookouts, a lovely long visit from family, and 2 weeks full of Miss G., we got our mini-getaway from all the chores and noise of daily city life.  Unlike vacations where you need to plan, organize and then execute (Day 1 visit Museum X, take bus Y), this is just a time to relax in nature.  Tall majestic old growth trees, hot pools of spring water, flowers, the sound of a river, yummy vegetarian meals (no sugar, no caffeine and no snacks!), yoga.  No keys, no money, no buying of anything, no worries.

One of my highlights was soaking alone in a hot spring pool in the morning and having dragonflies hover the entire time.  I have a special affinity.  After I lost the baby (I call him Benjamin) and first ventured outside strong enough to garden a bit and walk around, a dragonfly danced around to greet me.  Dragonflies are not a common insect in our realm, being a dry waterless city block.  I am sure it was sign from the baby.  A hello, a way to make me smile and take notice that the world held these moments of grace in the face of big losses.  Dragonflies landed on me all weekend long....Benjamin's way of telling me that he is well, and he is with me...we are ok. 

The other was seeing a meteor dance across the sky in the small pool at night.....Yet another was holding my partner's hand as we did yoga, relaxing and close.  Another was crashing a beautiful dance party on Saturday night full of Reiki healers, who were having a weekend retreat.  The music was this magical blend of 80s songs and world music (Kenny Loggins, among others). We all danced joyfully, and I felt like a kid dancing away....everyone was blissed out, smiling at one another...I thought, this is how the world is meant to be.  Everyone is just innately and naturally happy, dancing....to really really good music. 

I finished up the perfect read for such a weekend, The Possibility of Everything by Hope Edelman.  A story of faith, of healing, of love....of the possibility of everything, kind of like my life.

Missing in action

So it has been a long time. A month has gone by without posting anything.  

It's been a really good month - family time, dinners with friends, a circus, a pow-pow, blissful weekend at the beach, yoga, a whole lot of gardening, some juicy books. Rather than chronicling my life virtually I decided just to live it in real time and let the chronicle part go.   I liked the feeling of letting it go.  The time and privacy it afforded me. 

Now I'm debating where the blog goes or doesn't go.  Shall it continue?  It is for you or for me?  I'm just not sure.  

If it goes, then it means phone and emails to stay connected.  I'm not a texter and may never be.  How to sustain relationships across distance is a puzzle that I've been piecing together for years now, and I'm ambivalent about the Internet's role....I am very much a face to face person. 

So this is my way of saying the life of this blog is in the balance. 

Winter soldier

I guess I'm on an anti-war kick right now. It is so easy for us to forget that our country is fighting two wars...most Americans are pretty insulated from the suffering of both vets and civilians (except that our government's resources are being diverted to war spending in ways that impact us "silently").

I came upon this very powerful and painful documentary about the Vietnam war, told by vets in Detroit. I think it should be required viewing in all high schools when talking about the Vietnam war.

http://www.wintersoldierfilm.com/

Good words to guide our immigration reform (and especially folks in AZ!)

Leviticus 19:33-34

"And if a stranger dwells with you in your land, you shall do him or her no wrong. The stranger that dwells with you shall be to you as the home-born among you, and you shall love him or her as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. I am the Eternal, your God."

Beautiful and deadly desert (quirky too)

I spent yesterday morning on a Humane Borders water run, which is my third trip into the desert to help check on the water tanks placed in the desert to help "crossers" who are in need of water as they trek through the desert. Each visit has been an incredible, enriching experience. The other volunteers are fascinating, each with stories and experiences that I find illuminating. Getting to see first hand the area where people cross, the stories, the wildlife (hawks, jackrabbits and wildflowers blooming), the border patrol agents, the ranchers....I cannot really capture the entire experience adequately, but as painful as the current border situation is, I really treasure this chance to see what is happening with my own eyes.

Our final water stop was at Cowtown, a piece of contemporary Wild West culture created by Ed Keeylocko, a aging black cowboy and military vet. He has created a very rough and real version of a Western frontier town, with horses in a corral and a real saloon that has a dirt floor and old cowboy boots hanging from the porch. The other Humane Borders volunteer and I peeked in to have a look, and the cowboy eating his breakfast said "come on in, we don't bite." This is way more the real west than Tombstone or Old Tucson. As we stood near the water truck admiring the blooming octotillo, a Border Patrol truck drove by us very slowly...not stopping. Then a nearby rancher stopped by on his ATV to greet us and make sure we were ok. He also has a HB water tank on his property and thanked us for our work maintaining the tanks. He told us that in all his years on his ranch he's never had a problem with migrants crossing his land and has always offered water and assistance, although now he can no longer give them rides...it is illegal to do that now.

Mr. Keeylocko doesn't allow Border Patrol agents on his property without a warrant, and he supposedly welcomes coyotes and "crossers" into the saloon for drinks and food. He definitely allows Humane Borders to keep a water stop on his land and supports the life-giving humanitarian work of Humane Borders. The place was full of his own dedicated volunteers who maintain the property and animals....

Here is a link if you want to see some good pictures and background on Mr. Keeylocko, who I didn't get to meet. Maybe next time.


http://wheniwrite.com/2009/06/14/cowboy-keeylocko/


http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tw/01-30-97/cover.htm

Crazy Arizona

A state that has one of the most racist and backwards legislatures, EVER. It's funny, but oppression can have a surreal quality to it. Like, is this for real? Pinch me, but is this the same country that elected Obama?

Sometimes satire is really the best way to capture the absurdity of it all....so I give you Colbert in all his wit. He is right on the money.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - No Problemo
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Will the real Catholic Church please stand up?

This has been a hard time to be a Catholic. I read the press about what is going down in the Vatican and wince on a weekly basis. However, I have know since I was a girl that the Church hierarachy has it all wrong. Wrong for excluding women from leadership roles, for thinking that the rigid and antidemocratic infallible papacy is a good idea. Being a part of a parish has taught me what the real Catholic Church is...it is about women leading our parishes in big ways (preaching) and small ones like keeping the altars decorated. About all the amazing grassroots justice work done by the Church to help the marginalized and poor. That to me is the real Church, and I gotta hold on to it...come what may.

I love this article which really highlights what the real Church is all about...

Amen.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/18/opinion/18kristof.html?src=me&ref=general

The joy of play

One of the best things about having a kid in your life is getting to play. One thing that we both try to do with Ms. G is play. Play hard, play as long as we can. We grown-ups (most of us) have gotten rusty in this area. We play to win, to lose weight or get toned, to keep off heart disease or follow our doctors' orders. Play for the sheer sake of it? Hmmm.

This weekend we played a lot.

We visited the beautiful Chinese Gardens and played hide and seek (what a fun way to experience the garden...try it). We did a massive amount of water balloons and got totally soaked. We played in the pool (and I didn't do a single lap!)...tea parties, splashing around, diving. We played in the park, and I was able to keep the hula hoop going for a couple of minutes!

Yeah for play!

Life is good

So I've been reading so much about war, that it is good to remind myself and you that life is good. We (by virtue of living in this country) are very blessed. Each day I try to remind myself of that fact.

I am blessed...with so many good things. Remember the gratitude exercise?

I could list them right now:

My family (they are healthy - mainly - and alive - the nuclear members at least)
My health (ok, so the foot is not where I'd like it to be, but hey, I dance, swim and do yoga every week! My body functions beautifully. Thank you!)
My friends (some of whom actually read the blog, bless you)
My job, my home, my garden....so many things that keep me learning, growing and pushing in new directions.

A sweet lie

It's National Poetry Month, and I first read this poem in junior high, where it permanently became burned into my heart. When I think about when and why I became a pacifist, I think maybe this was a seed. By high school I was protesting nuclear weapons, and in college I was committed to that path...so don't discount the power of the word. A poem can change lives.

FYI the poet was an English WWI vet who returned from the horror ardently anti-war. I guess watching teenage friends gassed before your eyes would do that to you.

Dulce et Decorum Est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned out backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!--An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs
Bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

Salsa muy verde

I'm reading this fun new book "Mariachi" in preparation for the Tucson International Mariachi Festival next weekend...which is featuring the amazing Lila Downs. Can you tell I'm a little excited? I adore Lila and have seen her in concert three times.

So this book has recipes in it. Kinda quirky, since it is a book about music. It also has lots of pictures and a CD of music. Even though this isn't a cookbook, the recipes are good...here is one that uses cilantro, which is growing like crazy in the garden. I have a whole plot full of it, so I am very attentive to any recipes that will use up the garden bounty.

Cilantro-lime sauce or salsa de lima y cilantro o salsa muy verde (como te quiero verde):

Juice of 2 limes
2 jalapenos (if you like it hot)
salt and olive oil to taste
bunch of cilantro
water
3 cloves of garlic

Throw it in the blender and then eat it up! You can put it on boiled potatoes, meat, fish, veggies....It is fantastic and very green. If you are a chile wimp, leave out the chiles.

Every war has two losers

So there is a theme here. I came across this at the library at just the right moment. Very powerful and in sync with Howard Zinn's take that artists have an obligation to speak out. I'm now reading the book, which is equally wonderful.

Next year in Jerusalem

Holy Week wrapped up with the epic Easter Vigil, which was beautiful, long and full of the rich ritual that we Catholics do so well. During the longg service Ms. G fell asleep at the end on the pew, but I'm so glad we stayed to the end (Jesus Christ has Risen today is my favorite hymn). It has been wonderful to spend so much time at church, after a hiatus, to reconnect with friends and have time for reflection, prayer and community.

As a family we have spent the past few weeks reading books about both Easter and Passover, which has been so interesting to see the areas of intersection in our traditions. We have eaten matzoh and even made some fabulous Passover toffee (chocolate and matzoh are a good combo, who knew?). Gladys loved hearing about the story of Moses and the Exodus, which is as compelling as any scary mystery.

On Saturday we went to the fabulous Concordia Easter Egg hunt, as well as had a delish brunch with friends where we made messy and fun cascarones. That was a huge hit and will be repeated next year.

Ms. G has taken a shine to this fabulous Latino storyteller, Antonio Sacre, whose web site includes videos of his storytelling with his CD of stories that reflect our life experiences with humor and grace. Disfrutalo!

http://www.antoniosacre.com/story.html#

War is terrorism

I've been listening to a recorded lecture of the late and great historian Howard Zinn talking about the role of artists during times of war (name of the CD is Artists in a time of war). For a person who grew up in the shadow of the Vietnam war and have reflected a great deal about violence and non-violence, hearing his thinking about war and the role of the artist echos my own thinking.

As he puts it plainly, war is terrorism, sanctioned by the state. I have struggled mightily that the US invades countries far weaker in power and resources, killing millions, and justifies in with all sorts of pretexts (stopping Communism, terrorism, whatever ism might justify the ends). When I think of the enormity of the loss that Vietnam suffered...millions dead, it fills me with remorse and shame. I have Vietnamese friends (refugees from that very war), whom I long to ask for their forgiveness. We owe that country an apology....and while I cannot imagine our government offering that to the Vietnamese people, I wonder if I simply offered it to my dear friends, who have personally suffered.

As a believer in non-violence, I cannot find any justification to kill another.....I really cannot. That my tax dollars go towards invasions, occupations, the making of armaments....it is something I will forever struggle with and against. How do I come to terms with the huge gap between my own values and those of the government that carries out this violence?

During this sacred time of Easter, our Lord spoke about those who live by the sword die by it, and that he implored that his followers let him be taken by Roman soldiers and not resist. That courage and that love....to me, that is the very essence of our faith.

Being real

I loved reading the latest on research that meaningful deep conversations make you a happier person. This weekend I had some pretty deep talks about God, sacrifice, and what Easter is all about. What about you?

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/talk-deeply-be-happy/?src=me&ref=homepage

The garden

This weekend was a blur of activity.....Saturday was a glorious spring day. Sunny, warm. We rode our bikes to the pool, played around, and then biked home....ate arepas on Alberta (worth the wait)...then wrapped up the evening with a home-made pizza party and a movie. This is a documentary that is well-worth watching, and since we are all gardeners it was powerful stuff. Miss G. was in her glory since Deb brought the puppies. We got to get a dog.

Here is the trailer...check it out.

What I'm reading

I've been immersed in the real world lately. Non-fiction that is....

• Peter Senge and "The Power of Presence"....
• Barak Obama's "Audacity of Hope"
• Some Buddhist stuff and Thomas Merton

It all starts to blend together at some point. Listening, forgiveness, love.....I'm enjoying it all.

A budding farmer

Selling the fruits of the garden (aka excess cilantro) has been such a fun adventure with Gladys. We sold 10 cilantro starts ($2 each) in 30 minutes!! A huge success for our first day selling in front of the Alberta Co-op.

Here are just some of the skills she's used:

• public speaking skills and learning to be assertive. She was shy at first talking to total strangers on the street, but then she found her groove as the dollars rolled in.
  
• marketing skills (painting signs for our veg stand - the bench in front of the food coop)
• gardening skills (how to divide little cilantro starts to get more product and help the plants thrive)
• math skills (making change for customers and counting the profits)
• planning skills (we started planning this 2 weeks ago, and we will continue to plan and organize for future sales until all the cilantro starts have homes).
• sharing with God - I asked that she give $1 of her earnings to the church basket as a way of thanking our Creator for the abundance of the earth and cilantro (and the land we have to grow it)

This is such a cool learning experience, and I realize that this beats selling cookies any day of the week (because I cannot eat away any profits!).

Catching up

This morning we spent in the garden, digging up cilantro starts, dividing up kale and watering the blueberries. I let Gladys know that we should remove all the flowers and fruit this first year, to make the branches stronger and produce more fruit in the future. This is just the sort of tough life lesson that one learns when gardening. Short term loss for long term gain. Strength over beauty.

The snow peas are sneaking out of the ground, and I hope that the slugs munch out on the bait. The biggest piece of excitement is awaiting the lily of the valleys that I planted all over the place. This is my THIRD try, and I should say a Hail Mary that they come up. I really really love this flowers, which have a very intense and happy childhood memory attached to them.

Elementary school. Catholic. May Day procession for the Virgin, and we girls are all carrying little bouquets of lily of the valley. The hymns were my favorite, the smell of the flowers, the warmth of spring after a long midwestern winter. Crowning the statute of the Virgin, which seemed too cool and a bit crazy (like was she going to materialize from marble to flesh once we put the crown on? These are the thoughts that a 7 year-old with a ripe imagination would ponder.) I don't think I could have been more happy or connected to my faith. Funny how a plant can trigger all that?

Gardening is educational

Today Deb and I "crashed" a free gardening workshop with Glen Andersen that was "full." We learned all about pruning grapes and blueberries, plus a lot more...about bees (they need water nearby), cherry trees, etc. The fun part was a tour of Glen's city garden....with 40 fruit trees, many bee hives (not a good place if you don't like bees), and a deck that could be...um...fixed up. He kindly gave us all bits of grape vine to start our own grape plant (yes, I took two, and I have visions of grapes hanging off the arbor in the patio). They are both planted.

Oh, I now know I should remove all buds and fruit from my baby blueberry bushes this year. Gulp.

Glen is super smart about plants, thrifty, generous, funny, and helped remove the yellow jackets from my own garden (I will be forever grateful).

Don't miss getting to know and learn from him.

He works for Metro and does lots of local workshops on gardening....plus has a radio show on KBOO.

Reflection

I definitely think that not having Internet at home and no TV is giving me more time for reflection (and gardening, doing laundry...). I do miss the convenience of constant connectivity at times, but the quiet provided is really, really nice. It slows things down. I like that a lot.

One residual benefit of the past few months is more prayer and contemplation. I never thought I would write these words, but hey, my life is FULL of things I never thought I would do (or have happen to me). The home altar is really that...a place for daily quiet, prayer and contemplation of God in the world. For months I have kept fresh flowers there, plus the daily burning of incense and candles. It continues, and I really love it. I realize that God/the Divine is really a sensory experience...it is scent, sight, taste, touch.....Each part of the space provides a reminder that S/he is with us.

The altar was really inspired by my visits to my abuelita's house, and watching her pray in her guestroom, where a tall dresser was set up as an altar with candles burning at all times, some photographs and rosaries. I remember watching her from a crack in the door, the room dark except for the candles, and her standing there, praying softly. I have recreated much of that very altar - the tall dresser, the candles, photos, rosary. I wonder what she prayed for? I can imagine some of those prayers, but at their deepest, prayer is the most private thing (and then I realize it can also be very public). A conversation in silence between you and God. When I bought the house and put the altar in that nook I wasn't really praying, but I was attracted to the idea of a sacred place in your home and memory of that altar. Now it is more than just a decorative feature.

Mary Taponga(amazing mosaic artist) is now creating a special cross for it, which will incorporate two religious medals that I wore when I was pregnant as protection and cannot bring myself to ever wear again. I was struggling with what to do with them (throwing them out was not an option)...and then I thought that they could be put into a cross (very fitting) for the altar and contemplation. It makes it even more special that Mary is creating this work of art, one more small tribute to a baby not born...but very much remembered.

What a weekend

Too much fun. All this sunshine and family is just soaking into my heart and skin in a very good way.

Starting with homemade pizza and art on Friday night, then a walk up Forest Park (verdict on surgery is still out...the foot hurt), Oregon Pho, a trip to Buffalo Garden nursery....that was just Saturday. Today was crafty, Mass, and a lot of gardening. I've got to post pictures so you can see Miss G. plant blueberry bushes, among other garden activities. She is very proficient with a shovel. I let her get very dirty, which she really enjoyed. A lesson learned over the past 3+ months = don't sweat the small stuff. Dirt can be washed away. Separation cannot not.

We just had a blast (with only meltdown...which was not bad, all things considered).

A diabetes cure

This was a remarkable film....fascinating, hopeful, educational. Big thumbs up!

Update from happy land

Ok, that is a bit of a hokey subject line. But it is true. I have so MUCH to be happy and grateful for.....being with my loved ones. Being alive and healthy. Spring-time.

Things have been such fun around here. Gardening galore. A couple of weeks ago Debbie, Eduardo and I did some lovely spring work in the garden -- compost, weeding, and yanking up some ugly bushes to prepare for blueberries!! Looks great. Bulbs are coming up everywhere. It is going to be glorious. It already is. Drawing class is an adventure in learning and creativity. I did my first watercolor painting in YEARS. A clementine that looks pretty life-like.

Then today Yves and I went to the Garden Show to buy blueberry bushes (choice varieties), some garden art, and a cool bulb (Peruvian daffodil). Today was a fabulous Mamazen Spa day with a couple of girlfriends. Then my honey and I had dinner together.

Morning walks reveal blooming witchhazel and heather.

I love the spring!

Thai is fun (and delicious)

I had a great time at a Thai cooking class this week and learned 2 fab recipes. One was for green curry, that old delicious standard. The other was a totally unique and yummy dish that you never will see in a restaurant -- an egg salad (no not the stuff with mayo we spread on bread). A savory dish with chiles, cilantro and a host of other ingredients you'd NEVER think of mixing together. It was the most popular dish with us students, and we all got to leave with leftovers. I loved the engaging teacher, Goi, who was fun, very well-prepared and creative. I've had quite a few cooking classes, and this is right up there as one of the best. Her business (spreading Thai culture and happiness) is called Thai is Fun. That says it all, imho.

I am eager to have a party to try out these dishes. The egg dish would be great for a brunch.

What I'm watching and listening to

This is a visually and aurally stunning movie that is probably the best concert video I've ever seen. Sigur Ros is an Icelandic band that I love, and this was just fantastic to see them performing in live free concerts in their home (that is what Heima means, at home in Icelandic).

A treat for the eyes and ears.

What to do in the garden right now

Fertilize the sprouting bulbs that are coming up.
Cut down ornamental grasses.
Amend those garlic sprouts with blood meal (ick).

Bel canto

Isn't that a lovely turn of phrase?

Well, I'm reading (or listening) to this book right now and thoroughly enjoying it. A novel with a terrorist group taking hostages, an opera singer, a young priest, a Japanese businessman. A cast of very interesting characters and building drama as their captivity goes on. I'm not big on opera, but it is such a part of the story that I picked up an opera DVD of Maria Callas to put me in the right musical mood. I definitely think that some books have soundtracks. This one's is operatic. The author is Ann Patchett, in case you want to go out and find it. I like her style, her voice.

I spent the morning in the garden with Debbie putting down compost, weeding and general Preparation for Spring. There are so many bulbs coming up. Tulips galore, daffs, etc. Very wonderful to see. Also got some shrubs out to put in....drum roll please. Blueberries! I've decided that I'm going to turn more and more of the landscaping into edibles (or flowers, as you can never have too many flowers). Why have a row of bushes that produce nothing more than leaves when you could have juicy berries too? I've been reading about blueberries and what they need to thrive. Full sun, good drainage, rich composty soil, water in the dry summer. I'll have to take a shot of before and after. Very exciting.

Talking to God

I'm sure nearly everyone on the planet has their own complicated relationship with God. Over the past few years I've been rediscovering a real relationship (an adult one), and like any relationship, it is not easy. I've been angry, disappointed, and confused at times (those were the low points), with the high points filled with gratitude and love. Yoga, some books (The Shack comes to mind) the altar, the garden...all these things help bring God into the daily mix of things.

My latest discovery has been the rosary. Really. I can't believe it myself, as someone who hadn't done it in years (maybe 35?) and just remembered it as being some really rote mindless boring Catholic ritual that my abuelita did (do you think I could have had a more negative attitude?). I had to relearn some of it (what are the mysteries?...sounds so....mysterious), and now, at the delightful age of 44 I get it (or am starting to get it). It is comforting and meditative. I like it more than I thought I would.

Botanical drawing

I found the perfect storm of my interests: drawing and plants. I just started a PCC class on botanical drawing, and the first class was cool. The teacher is the right blend of smart, nice, and passionate. The students are a nice bunch. This is a perfect continuation of the PNCA drawing class. The teacher had us start out with a couple of cool exercises guaranteed to break the ice. Draw a fellow student. Twice. I can tell you that her name and face are now engraved on my brain, probably forever. Anna. The contour drawing was hard. No looking at the paper. The second sketch was fun. She's beautiful to look at, and so I was delighted to stare at her face and try to capture her on paper. Drawing an apple was a bit of a letdown after her.

What I'm watching

I haven't (yet) seen the swifts in person. They are on the other side of the river, so that is my excuse. I'm sticking by it. Seriously, I wanted to do it last fall, but things got away from me. So my goal for this fall is to see them in person. Looks amazing. Any Portland blog readers who want to come along, let me know! It looks like a fun picnic and hanging out opportunity.

Talking about Haiti with kids

I had my first conversation with G about the earthquake, and I'm sure it won't be the last one. I got some tips from a newspaper article that I liked, plus a web link with a lot more resources.

Here is what I found useful:

Ask questions and don't make assumptions about what someone is feeling or thinking. Find out what the concerns and thoughts are.
Answer their questions, clear up misinformation.
Don't offer more info than what they've asked about..avoid the too much information syndrome.

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/cmhs/TraumaticEvents/tips.asp

When a world falls apart, reach out

As I go about my day, there is another world that has fallen apart, another world away in Haiti.

I read the newspaper accounts (it is merciful not to be able to watch video coverage at home), and I cry. The suffering is beyond my comprehension, because I knew that long before this disaster Haiti was the poorest of places on our side of the world. This event pushes a nation past disaster, to the brink of God knows what. I pray and hope that the relief effort is able to help save and heal the survivors, and that a rebuilt Haiti will rise from the ashes of so much destruction.

I want to encourage all my blog readers to make a donation to the relief effort (if you haven't already). I've always been inspired by Doctors without Borders....they do remarkable work.

Additional note: very good article that lays out options for donating to Haiti relief efforts:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/nyregion/24critic.html?hp

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/

Gratitude journal

I'm so grateful that my mom's heart is healthy. Very grateful for my little sis and brother-in-law who take care of her and papi.

Grateful for my altar and daily prayers that keep me centered.

Grateful for those calls, emails, cards. All the ways that my friends connect to me, and I to them.

Words of a wise man

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." – Martin Luther King Jr., Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec. 10, 1964

What I'm reading

I love this book. It is wise, hilarious, and fascinating....You follow this sardonic NPR reporter on a world tour of countries in a search for what makes humans happy. Right now I'm in Iceland, a hub of creativity, binge drinking and darkness. The one thing I have to get over is listening to this in the car and having fellow drivers wonder why I am laughing. Another crazy woman on the road.

What I'm watching

This is a totally adorable movie that sneaks up on you. A French road film with 2 unlikely guys encountering misadventures in the French countryside (Brittany to be specific, which is where the title Western comes from). The friendship is sweet and real, and the scenery and slice of rural French life are also a part of the movie's charm.

http://www.sinematurk.com/film_fragman/18836/Western

Gratitude journal for Saturday

I'm grateful for my brother-in-law and good friend. He's fun to hang out with and has good taste in movies and food (plus appreciates my cooking).

I'm grateful for the time I get to spend with Gladys and all the things I learn from and with her....

Sing along

This is one of my favorite dance numbers right now. I love the move where you dance on "un solo pie" or one leg, and somehow doing it with a group of people at 6 a.m. in the morning is inexplicably fun.

Enjoy!

Gratitude journal

I've been listening to this amazing audio book on gratitude, which is something I've been working on cultivating. The author is a cultural anthropologist, so she weaves in all kinds of morsels of wisdom from around the world...which I love. The thing about cultivating gratitude is that you also need to face down the envy and comparison in your heart, which gets in the way of being really grateful. That is the first time I had heard that stated so plainly, and it is giving me plenty to work on and think about.....

One way to nurture gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal, so here it goes. I'm going to use this blog that way....

Today I'm grateful for:

• A fabulous dance class this morning and being comfortable enough in my own skin and joyful enough to sing along with the music as I dance. Plus I just love the music...I can't stop from singing!
• Working with people who are open and come to me with their joys, sorrows and feedback
• My job
• Being able to do the pigeon pose in yoga class deeper and longer than ever before and my wonderful yoga teacher who has guided me along the way.
  
• Glimmers of sunshine in a rainy week
  

Netherland - an update

I'm winding down this audio book, and the verdict is that the book is ok. I think it is that I have yet to be really compelled by the characters, and somehow the author doesn't take me deep enough. I think it is because the narrator seems to live that way, and there is something sad about him..and boring.

I do think the reader does a marvelous job with all the accents, and reading about Trinidad brings back many happy memories of my Carnival there. Gosh that was fun and so totally unique to a part of a band, dress up in little more than a bathing suit and face glitter, parading through the streets with hundreds of others. With a lot of great music. I also like reading a novel so contemporary that it mentions actual current events, like the Iraq war.

Would I recommend it? Probably not, just because I'm not passionately in love with it. Unless you really want to read a novel about post 9/11 NYC, are into cricket or West Indian immigrant stories filtered through the eyes of a Dutch banker...then I think you'd want to read this one.

Places to go, places I've been

New York Times did an interesting article on 31 places to go in 2010. I've been to Costa Rica, South Africa, and Vancouver BC.

I'd really like to go to Bahia, Patagonia, Istanbul, Norway and Nepal.

Musings on history

I'm immersing myself in all things Tudor right now. I'm watching series 3 of The Tudors with Yves, reading historical novels and also watching the films on Elizabeth starring Cate Blanchette. A thread through all of it is torture. Racks, fire, water, boiling, quartering, beheading. A fair amount this all took place in public view.

Fast forward more than 500 years. Now we have "advanced interrogation techniques." Oh, things are neater. Less gory. Far far less public. Medically supervised a fair amount of the time.

Watching these films I can't help but think about how far we haven't come. Have not progressed. That if you demean a person's physical dignity they will often say anything, do anything. It was true in the reign of Henry VIII, and it is true when W ruled.

If there is anything I hope for it is that the rule of law, basic human rights, is restored. Because this torture is hidden away, how do you know?

What I'm reading and watching

I just started another novel - Netherland. I chose it because I read somewhere that President Obama was reading it. So far, I'm not loving it. Not the characters, not the writing style. Not enough passion or drama, perhaps. Coming off Tudor intrigue is hard to match. A nice but dull European financier in a mid-life crisis, set in post 9/11 NYC. I'm going to give it some time though. Books deserve some time to pull you in.

I'm watching a very compelling documentary Un poquito de verdad about the uprising in Oaxaca and the way people took over radio and TV stations to communicate their stories and reality when the mainstream media was distorting and not covering their stories. Powerful stuff. Real. I love how one woman said that once she saw real women broadcast news on a TV station that was taken over she stopped watching the soap operas and other crap. Amen sister.




Que viva Oaxaca y la libertad de expresion!

Eating in season

With 4 delicata squash in the kitchen, I found some delicious recipes on the Internet to use them up. One was a roasted squash salad...vegetarian and easy. Another was quinoa stuffed squash, a bit more involved in terms of steps...very healthy and vegetarian. Here are some pictures of the squash before roasting, then the sauteed chard which goes into the stuffing, and the final product. All this in an effort to eat seasonally and with less meat this year of 2010. I'm easing back into that anti-inflammatory diet.

Besides a bit of cooking I've been finishing up the intense and long book "The Other Boleyn Girl." I'm finding the whole Tudor England thing by turns grim and fascinating. One unexpected thing is facing numerous depictions of miscarriages, both of Queen Catherine and Anne. I can't say that I've read many accounts in fiction, so reading this book had some painfully personal moments.

On a more upbeat note, I woke up and did my own yoga practice at home. It was lovely to stretch out and breath. I played some mellow yoga music and really relaxed. What a nice way to start the day. Another goal for 2010 is to do more yoga!

New Year projects

Two long overdue projects got started this weekend - clearing out the garage and finishing up Gladys' scrapbook (which occupied a messy chunk of the office). These weren't really New Year resolutions, but timing is everything in getting the year off to a good start.

The scrapbook project is such fun that I'm not sure why I didn't do it (something about a block of uninterrupted time). I love pouring over pictures and memories, organizing and figuring out how to make it fun and informative. When I create scrapbooks I'm always thinking of the distant future....what will people want or need to know about these photographs 30 years from now? 50 years from now? Will they want precise geographic locations, dates, names, what we were thinking or feeling? Who will be looking at this book? No idea if other scrapbookers go through this same thought process. I wonder what Gladys will be like when she's an older person. Oh, then more questions buzz around. Married? Kids? College?

The garage is a less fun or creative project, but it has the potential to be a real boon to gardening. Once I get rid of old cans of paint I'm going to have more space for plant starts and potting materials. Yeah!

Happy New Year

Today has been a real treat.

I started the day with a two hour vinyasa yoga class at Exhale Yoga Studio http://www.exhalepdx.com/ with Juliet. It was fantastic for many reasons, and one of them was that I could notice, really notice, how wonderful my body is and how much I could do (vs. noticing what I couldn't do and having that negative voice echo and reverberate). It was joyous to do pose after pose and enjoy being in my body. A year ago I was using a walker. Now I am doing the warrior pose! The class was not too hard, nor too easy...it was just right. Juliet had us focusing on an intention for 2010, and I loved her way of integrating this into the entire practice. A truly special way to start a year....

My intention is loving-kindness towards myself and others. Especially the people who drive me up the wall.

Then I headed to Common Ground for a soak and sauna, which was delicious and perfect after 2 hours of yoga. More relaxation, more being present in my body.

Then I headed to my next door neighbor's house for a New Year party, which was a lovely gathering of neighbors that I know in that passing friendly way....it was a chance to hang out and really get to know them. They are all friendly, interesting and nice...so I feel so fortunate.

So many good things all packed into one day.